theaceoffours:

shrill-ex:

most of the lights are out in my kitchen so there’s a spotlight on my fridge

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BE…

OUR…

GUEST

legs-are-just-for-show:

replaying the same level in a video game for the hundredth time

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nivalingreenhow:

when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

  • Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
  • Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
  • ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
  • Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
  • Dad: *chokes into his drink*
  • ROL: You should respect your elders.
  • Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
  • Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
  • ROL: *storms off*
  • Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
  • Me: What?
  • Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.

professionalcinnabon:

anch0vies:

spazztastic-muffin:

When your teacher is nice but can’t fucking teach

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When your teacher is mean but teaches really good 

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When your teacher is mean and can’t fucking teach

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most-awkward-moments:

“If the answer is false, explain why”

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its-tuesday-again:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT BOYS